Introduction
Matrimonial ads, also known as marriage ads, are a common feature in newspapers and online platforms. They are usually placed by families seeking suitable partners for their sons or daughters. These ads often include information about the age, education, profession, and family background of the individual being sought. However, when it comes to the depiction of women in matrimonial ads, there are some troubling trends that have emerged.
Women being placed in boxes based on their size, looks, stature and weight is no new thing. Just when we think we as a society have given up on labeling women based on their physical qualities, the subtlest of indicators of our sexist stereotypes make it to the surface.
Reduced to Objects: A Deep Dive into the Types of Matrimonial Ads That Objectify Women
1. "Fair-skinned bride" ads - In some cultures, there is a preference for fair skin, and this is often highlighted in matrimonial ads. Ads that seek "fair-skinned brides" can be seen as objectifying women based on their skin color and perpetuating colorism.
2. "Homely bride" ads - In some cultures, there is an emphasis on women being "homely," which often means they are expected to be submissive and take care of household duties. Ads seeking "homely brides" can be seen as objectifying women by placing emphasis on their domestic abilities rather than their personal qualities.
3. Ads specifying physical attributes - Some matrimonial ads specify physical attributes such as height, weight, and appearance, which can be seen as objectifying women and reducing them to their physical appearance.
4. Ads emphasizing dowry - In some cultures, a bride's family is expected to provide a dowry to the groom's family. Ads that emphasize the dowry can be seen as objectifying women by placing a monetary value on their worth.
For instance,
"Looking for a fair, slim, and beautiful girl for our handsome son who is working as an engineer in a reputable company. The girl should be well-educated, homely, and willing to relocate to the US. No dowry required."
In this example, the focus is on the physical appearance of the woman rather than her personality or qualifications. The ad also suggests that the woman's primary role is to be "homely" and support her husband's career, rather than pursuing her own ambitions. ThisVreinforces harmful gender stereotypes and perpetuates the idea that women's value is primarily based on their looks and domestic abilities.
This Viral Matrimonial Ad is proof women are Objectified even now
Recently, a matrimonial ad has drawn the ire of the internet with its weird specifications for a bride. The advertisement made by Mr. Aggarwal had specifications including, but not limited to, the woman’s bra, waist, and feet size. The ad was posted by a man seeking a bride on a matrimonial site called Betterhalf.ai and has been widely circulated on social media recently. Ditching the traditional “slim, fair and tall” for a much more specific and equally problematic set of requirements, the man said he was seeking a woman who was “5’2 to 5’6” and measured “32b to 32c, size 12-16 (waist) and size 6-7 (feet).”
The demands don’t end there. The man went on to list several “qualities” that his ‘better half’ (indeed!) had to possess. The ad specified that she should be conservative but also liberal, fun but down to earth, and “be into wearing costumes in bed”. The woman should also love dogs and have no children and be anywhere between 18 to 26-years-old.
The use of dating apps has become increasingly popular in recent years, with millions of people around the world using them to find potential partners. However, many of these apps use advertising that objectifies women, perpetuating harmful gender stereotypes and promoting unrealistic beauty standards.
This is problematic on so many levels as this reveals the man’s misogynistic ideals. Any woman who fits this size shall not always remain within his ‘boundaries’ thus proving that women need to be continuously altered to fit a man’s demands. In a society as progressive as ours, any person would know this is the first red flag, not just for women, but for maintaining a relationship as such.
Tailoring a woman for a man is an easy sign of patriarchy and such signs are not subtle at all, which isn’t something to be happy about. This demand only shows that he’s looking, not for a partner, but for someone to be at his beck and call, thus reflecting on his upbringing, as to how he was taught to view women.
“Be into wearing costumes in bed”.
Following the age-old adage of women satisfying men, this is a red flag no one can ever miss. This is deeply deceptive on so many levels as this agrees with the constraints that women need to be subordinate to men and their self-acceptance is only in making a man feel pleasured.
“have no children”
This is a problematic statement that is prevalent in many households. Not the fact that he dictates her to not have children, but the fact that he thinks he has the right to decide her preference to become a mother or not. Women have always been molded into three important characters: a daughter, a wife, and a mother. If she fails to oblige to be one, she’s immediately termed unethical or unlawful and it is saddening to know that not many women even know that such branding of their identity is wrong.
When you teach women that their identity is only useful to a male counterpart, they fail to realize that they have a purpose otherwise. Fitting women into sizes, roles, statuses, looks are subtle indicators that we as a society, still give in to patriarchy and a thin lining of tradition is to blame too. Tradition dictates our women to be ‘goddesses,’ ‘mothers’ and the ‘kula vilaku’ (light of the clan) in so many households and thus, unknowingly, women are idealized to be a particular shape, size, and person.
We need to realize that women’s shape, body, bust size, or even ability to conceive children aren’t what makes women ideal. An ideal woman knows to split her identity from her purpose. Understanding of a woman’s roles and powers and even the tiniest ray of consent requires a good upbringing, an unbiased mode of education, and definitely an open mindset.
Are we, as a society, ready to raise our women better? Are we ready to teach men to treat our women better?
Conclusion
The objectification of women in matrimonial advertisements is not only harmful to women, but also to men and to society as a whole. It perpetuates gender inequality, reinforces harmful stereotypes, and can contribute to negative attitudes towards women. It is important for dating app companies to recognize the harm caused by objectifying women and to take steps to eliminate it from their advertising. This includes using more diverse and inclusive imagery, avoiding language that objectifies women, and promoting healthy and respectful attitudes towards all genders.
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